Boys as Predators

By YS on June 11 2010

I was sickened to read Maureen Dowd's Op-Ed piece in Wednesday's New York Times. Dowd's chronicles the story of a group of Washington D.C. private school boys who held a mock fantasy draft of their female friends. Allegedly, each of the young women were "picked" in the draft and points could be awarded if the boys performed certain acts with the girls during parties.

Before they got caught last summer, the boys had planned an “opening day party,” complete with T-shirts, where the mission was to invite the drafted girls and, unbeknownst to them, score points by trying to rack up as many sexual encounters with the young women as possible.

“They evidently got points for first, second and third base,” said one outraged father of a drafted girl. “They were going to have parties and tally up the points, and money was going to be exchanged at the end of the season.” He said that the boys would also have earned points for “schmoozing with the parents.”

His daughter, he said, “was very upset about it. She thought these guys were her friends. This is the way we teach boys to treat women, young ladies? You have enough to worry about as a 14- or 15-year-old girl without having to worry about guys who are doing it as sport.”
Another parent was equally appalled: “I think the girls felt like they were getting targeted, that this was some big game. Talk about using people. It doesn’t get much worse than that.

Fortunately, this was broken up before it really got started.

I don't think this is a trend we can expect to see a lot of. But it is deeply disturbing on a couple of fronts.

First, the boys don't appear to have been seriously punished. They didn't even get kicked out of their exclusive school. "There's no question that there's an aura of entitlement that pervades Landon culture -- especially among the athletes," he told The Washington Examiner. "All too often, they give off a feeling that they're above and beyond most rules." link

Second, these are freshmen in high school. Freshmen! Something has short-circuited in our culture when 14-15 year old boys devise a plan such as this. Somewhere, someone should have been teaching these young men that women are not objects and they are definitely not objects to be lured into despicable situations such as this. Don't these boys have mothers?


Picture of Brad Griffin

From Brad Griffin on June 11, 2010

the thing is, our culture celebrates and lauds boys for this kind of “manly” practice.  it’s instant points on the manhood scale and esp in already-exclusive pre-white-boy-fraternity kinds of cultures. i did a lot of reading on this last year, and mike kimmel’s stuff is really insightful to help make sense of this phenomenon. this article includes some of his work:

Picture of Cinda Hise

From Cinda Hise on June 11, 2010

As a mother of boys, I am appalled by this “boys’ club” attitude!!!  Our boys are being raised to respect young ladies/women and to treat them honorably.  This kind of behavior breeds men with no honor, regardless what the world or “culture” would have them believe.

Picture of Paul Turner

From Paul Turner on June 12, 2010

I have two boys and the best way for me to teach them godly manliness is how I treat their mother but I plan to read this to my 15 yr old son and get his reaction.

Picture of Phil Houtz

From Phil Houtz on June 12, 2010

Um, where do you think the term “score” comes from?

I think the title of this blog post hits the nail on the head. There is a “predator nature” in the male psyche. That’s never going to change, short of a healthy dose of Romans 12:2. We (meaning me too) need to be working hard to engage young men at this primal level, not asking them to turn off their inner drives but to open them up to Christ.

Jesus walks up to two guys on a beach and says “how would you like to be fishers of men?” He didn’t say, “uh fellas, could you please sit still in church?”

Picture of YS

From YS on June 13, 2010

@phil- I tend to agree with you. We take a lot of masculinity out of the church.

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